So I recently got a job at Walt Disney World. You’re reading the private thoughts of one of Disney’s newest Deepwater Lifeguards. I am stationed at the Yacht Club. I’m pretty excited to see what this is like. For the majority of my life, I’ve worked as a barista. That’s also a little closer to what I want to do with my life. I want to open my own coffee shop that promotes community within whatever area I end up in. I want it to be an old house that feels like home to people. I envision a group of people that need a place to feel welcome, and I want to provide that. I have an urge to create a place that helps people feel like they’re loved. That they’re cared for. A place for meetings, and for people to study. To hang out and to meet new friends. Obviously Disney is vastly different than this idea, but I think that this will be a new and exciting way to make an income while living in Orlando.

One thing I pride myself on is my work ethic. I always work my hardest, whatever the task, regardless of how my day is. Having a fear of ending up like my father, I’ve done a great job of not inheriting his horrendous work ethic. I strive to make whoever I work with family. Going into such a large corporate job, I recognize the likelihood of this idea failing. But why not try? Why shouldn’t I work my hardest to unite the people I see every day? Maybe the community will already be there. Maybe I won’t have to do much to get to that place. I’m not sure what will happen, but I am excited to see what does.

Nash has been on my heart lately. What else is new? But recently, with her being in Miami visiting her family, she’s been feeling down. I don’t know much about her family life, but I get the feeling that it gets on her nerves often. She’s also been let down by her brothers, seeing them do things that destroy themselves. I can relate to how this feels. Seeing my father throw away everything, his family, wealth, career, all in pursuit of more has made me a good person to talk to about this stuff. Of course it’s a little different because we’re talking about abandoning families, and then drug use. But I’m not sure it is all that different. She’s been stressing out about what will happen to her family due to it. I think she’s close to her brothers, and seeing them continue down a dark path must break her heart. It sucks to think about, and I wish I could do more to help her. I also want her to have an amazing time down in Miami. She’s basically on vacation near one of my favorite places. I understand that Fort Lauderdale and Miami aren’t too close, but I know some awesome places in Miami, and it seems like she’s blind to it because it being so close to her childhood. I don’t understand that as well as I wish I did. I love Fort Lauderdale, and I think it’s full of awesome people and very cool things. But Nash seems to just be complaining her entire time down there to me, telling me she wishes she was back here with me. As great as that is to hear, selfishly, I want her to be having a blast while she’s down there. I just don’t know what is going on. She is supposed to come back either tomorrow, or the day after. She’s waiting to find a car that her parents approve of. Apparently her father finds something wrong with each car they go and see. I hope she’s able to either start having a good time, or she’s able to come back up here to have a better time. I’m rooting for the latter, but again, I know that’s selfish.

I miss her, and I wish I could start work already so that I had something to do all day, rather than watching Netflix. As much as I love It’s always Sunny, I’d love to be productive. I have been playing a lot of guitar recently, so that’s rewarding. I am stuck on learning a new song, AND stuck on writing a new one. I feel so discouraged because of this. Real frustrating.

Let’s hope I start making better use of my time.

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