The feeling for Nash grows quickly. I am overwhelmed and terrified with what could happen. I could ruin her. I could allow myself to be open with and get hurt very easily. It’s nerve wracking. I think she’s such a sweet girl, and have a hard time seeing that happening to me with her, but I’ve had a hard time seeing girls in the past do it too. They’re savages. But I guess people are in general. People are going to do what they want, and if they’re restricted, they’ll find a way around the restrictions and do it anyway. I’m thinking about people wanting to be other people, even if they’re in a relationship. Not a lot of people have the understanding, and the self control to realize that if they’re in a relationship and it’s going well for the most part, what they feel towards other people is simply lust. I’ve struggled with it before, but I’ve had loads of self control to keep myself from doing something stupid. That’s good. I’m proud of myself for that. Yes, it’s been hard before, but it’s a line I can not let myself pass.
I hope that Nash has the ability to. Obviously things are great right now, but things aren’t always easy. Things get tough and then people forget why they’re together in the first place. Its’ weird. Life is weird. Love certainly is.
In other news, I bought a 48 pack of pop tarts at the store the other day. Excuse me while I live off those for a while.