A letter to Lauren 

The adventures that we’d go on for years and years and years will never see the light of day because I couldn’t see clear that you were just a young bird yearning to be free but I guess life will go on with out you being as near as I’d like you to be. I know I fucked up, I knew you weren’t a slut but I couldn’t handle something so good In life so it all came crashing down. 

I still look at your instagram deep into the night Your eyebrows still look great your style is the still the best. But you broke my heart that night in your dorm and I don’t think I can forgive you for what I couldn’t do right. 
I died for days and I lost a part of me that will not ever come back. I’m still paying off the debt I went into for your theme park trip. I’ll never be the same. 

You’d never know I miss you but I am so full of regret for not treating you the best I could am I’m sorry I could never see the man you needed me to be. I’m trying to move on and I think I’ve fooled myself into thinking that this is still your fault. Things with you were so easy singing songs with you felt so right. I’m having a hard time sleeping in this bed I’ve made for myself. I just hope you can forgive me for acting a way that wasn’t okay. 
I’m feeling this loss more now than ever but I hope you’re doing well. Relationships are hard and the timing just wasn’t right. I’m drinking now to forget the thoughts we shared on your bed that Friday night. 
I don’t want you back, I don’t want to feel sad. I still love every part of that girl I kissed when beach boys came on after founders day, (well night). But you’re not that girl anymore, and I hope you’re doing alright. 

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